Archives for posts with tag: behaviour

Source: Trump sees nothing wrong with forcing federal employees to take a personal loyalty oath

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Original post from Additude Mag

‘………..You can learn to give your child the love, encouragement, and approval he or she longs for.

Terry M. Dickson, M.D., ACG, CPCC, this month’s guest blogger, is the founder and director of The Behavioral Medicine Clinic of NW Michigan (youradhdfamily.com), which has served and supported children, adolescents, and adults with ADHD for the past 15 years. His passion is working with families affected by ADHD and the condition’s impact on family relationships.

'Be committed to helping your child succeed no matter what it takes.' —Terry M. Dickson, M.D., ACG, CPCC

‘Be committed to helping your child succeed no matter what it takes.’
—Terry M. Dickson, M.D., ACG, CPCC

Being a father is a huge responsibility and often needs to be mastered. This can be challenging for dads with ADHD, who by the nature of the complexities of his symptoms, may find it difficult to give the kind of love, encouragement, and approval his children long for. There are certain traits common to men with ADHD that can interfere with the father-child relationship for years, especially when those fathers are parenting children who also have ADHD.

As a youngster, I didn’t know that I had ADHD. Being hyperactive and impulsive, I must have been a handful for my parents. I had poor self-esteem and that affected almost every aspect of my life at the time. So I immersed myself in school and success, for me, became getting good grades. I struggled as many people with ADHD do, but my determination kept me moving forward.

When I had kids of my own, my desire for them was to achieve the things I wasn’t able to achieve. Both of our children have been diagnosed with ADHD and, of course, struggled in school as I did. Unfortunately, in my ADHD-charged moments of frustration, I got angry at them when assignments were not turned in and grades were not up to par. These emotions caused my children to shut down when the topic of school came up. I had no idea that I was negatively affecting the relationship.

Perhaps you are a father with ADHD who has experienced conflict in your relationship with your child. However stressful that relationship may have been, believe that it is never too late to change yourself and affect positive change.

The first step in improving your parenting skills is to make sure you are receiving adequate treatment for your ADHD. You can’t help your child if you don’t first help yourself. You need to get the right diagnosis from a practitioner who is knowledgeable about ADHD and its treatments. You may benefit from medication. If you have problems with anger management, substance abuse, or compulsive behaviors, a trained therapist or counselor skilled in these areas could help. Working with an ADHD coach can be extremely helpful. Other sources of support can come from a local CHADD chapter, Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), a men’s support group, as well as from parenting classes, books and pamphlets.

There are several important truths that you must keep in mind when developing a new fathering style. Know that you are significant and can make a difference in your child’s life. There is power to your presence in your child’s life and a real void in your absence. Know that your child needs your love, approval, encouragement, acceptance and affirmation. Commit yourself to replacing bad habits with better ones. Be committed to helping your child succeed no matter what it takes.

These are ways to show your child that you appreciate and love him:

Show your child unconditional love. Love your children not because of what they do but because of who they are. A solid trust between the two of you will remind your child that he or she can talk to you about anything. Your child needs to know that he or she can always depend on you.

Never shame or make fun of your child. Don’t try to talk something out if you feel emotionally charged or out of control; wait until you feel calm enough to address the issues objectively. Know what pushes your buttons and take steps to ward off overreaction. Be a model for resolving conflicts peacefully. A good listener talks less and asks more questions, especially open-ended ones that do not require yes or no answers, and foster better communication. Establish good eye contact and do not interrupt.

Express the high value you place on your child. Use every opportunity to give praise or to share something inspirational with your child. Provide hugs and words of encouragement when appropriate. Make sure that your positive comments about your child greatly outnumber those that are negative and that the negative ones are given in a constructive manner, without belittling your child.

Schedule meaningful time with your child. Children, in a sense, spell love T-I-M-E. Make sure that the time you spend with your child is free from distractions that would prevent you from focusing completely on him or her. When you promise to spend time with your child, make certain that you keep that commitment so that he or she knows that you can be depended on. This will build trust between you and your child as well. Communicate to your child that you will always try to be available during unscheduled times as well.

Teach your child self-help skills. What skills did you use to overcome your own difficulties caused by ADHD tendencies? It is important to teach him or her to think independently, ask questions, and seek creative solutions. Help your child find his own answers. Be a good listener and slower with advice.

Set realistic goals for yourself and your child. Your goals could include being a better listener, paying more attention to your child’s unique style and talents, or striving to empower your child to be more resilient. Goals for your child could include developing more confidence or helping others in need. Monitor the progress of your goals at monthly and yearly intervals. Progress for your child could be measured by his or her ability to solve problems independently and assume more responsibility.

Dads with ADHD certainly can have challenges in parenting due to ADHD traits. However, it is never too late to build loving relationships with your children. The personal skills you will need to heal broken relationships can be mastered. Remember the important role you play in your child’s life and go make a difference today.


Why do we have myths and labels?  Are we not are all different, so are persons with autism, surely by labeling are we not trying to say they are the same. But then why myths, is it because we have to know why or at least we believe we know why.

Original post from The Stir

An extract

‘…………By now you’ve probably seen the numbers. One in every 88 kids today is being diagnosed with autism. There are autistic kids on TV shows, autistic kids in the news, autistic kids in your kid’s classroom. It’s safe to say Americans know that autism exists.

But that doesn’t mean they know the first thing about the spectrum disorder. This is the next hurdle for parents of kids on the autism spectrum: breaking down the myths that follow their kids everywhere they go. Think you know better? Test your knowledge with these autism myths: …………………..’


Five Tips that Helped Improve My Child’s Behavior from Autism Speaks

An extract from ‘This guest post was written by Chrissy Kelly, a mom of two boys with autism. You can read more about her and her family on her blog, “Life With Greyson + Parker,” and also her Facebook page. 

Our house has been a revolving door of Behavior Therapists over the past almost four years. Both boys put in about 20 hours a week of intense therapy. I never thought a kidless 20-something year old might be able to teach me something about my own children. The presence of autism in my life has grown my mind a thousand times over. So much of parenting children with autism is counter-intuitive. I say and do things I never thought would work, but they do. Here is a small list of techniques that we use daily that help reduce tantrums, increase understanding, direction following and happiness (theirs and mine). There is no one thing that works for all children, and there is no one quick fix, however, many of these techniques will work for many children. Whether or not they have autism.  ………………….,


Coin throwing

Just because coin throwing and other non-acceptable crowd actions have been taking place for many years, is no reason for not taking any action. Why do football supporters act in this manner, after all it is only a game. People say you can become so involved in the game and your emotions take over. But surely this can be said of supporters in many other games, but they do not resort to actions of this nature.

Over the years there have been other spectacles that have had similar supporters reactions, what about the Gladiatorial Arenas of the Ancient Romans. It was not right then and it is not right now.

What actions can be taken, well you can have zero tolerance, CCTV, plants in the crowd and the crowds to police themselves, or a mix of all of them plus any others. By plants in the crowd, this could be plain clothed officials monitoring crowd behaviour from within the crowd and they could use miniature CCTV cameras on their person. Also with crowds monitoring themselves, I mean responsible supporters noting who is causing trouble and then reporting it to an appropriate official when safe to do so.

The point is no matter what it takes, action to stop this and other similar behaviour needs to be taken and be taken now.


Funeral staff disrespecting the dead

Why do we in this country have an excuse culture, all the time we are too quick to provide excuses for unacceptable behaviour?  Sexual crimes, it is pornography, social crime it is broken homes and lone families; in this instance it is the job. Nobody is forcing the people to be employed in this profession, if they cannot accept the job for what it is and be respectful, then they should leave.

The behaviour of each person  is the responsibility of that person, FULL STOP.

People these days feel they should receive respect from others, but do not feel they should reciprocate.

My view is you should treat others in no lesser way than you would expect to be treated yourself.

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