My husband does not “babysit” our children » Lauren Casper


The past six weeks have been busy and I’ve been away from home more than usual for Created for Care, three speaking engagements, and other random things sprinkled in. I don’t leave town without my family often (only a few times a year) and I try to be home with them as much as possible. I’ve…

Source: My husband does not “babysit” our children » Lauren Casper

Parents fatally whipped teen who wanted to quit church, New York court hears


Original post from The Guardian

‘…………..

  • Deacon testifies at hearing for parents of Lucas and Christopher Leonard
  • Boys attacked at ‘spiritual counseling session’ at New Hartford church
Deborah Leonard and Bruce Leonard sit next to their attorneys in court. Photograph: Pool/Reuters
Deborah Leonard and Bruce Leonard sit next to their attorneys in court. Photograph: Pool/Reuters

A mother and father whipped their 19-year-old son to death with an electrical cord during an all-night spiritual counseling session triggered by his desire to leave their church, a a New York court has heard.

Lucas Leonard was subjected to a 12-hour ordeal by his parents, sister and fellow church members at the Word of Life Christian church in New Hartford, New York, on Sunday, police and witnesses alleged.

His 17-year-old brother Christopher was also beaten and was admitted to hospital in a serious condition.

The parents, Bruce and Deborah Leonard, are accused of manslaughter. At a court hearing on Friday, a judge ruled there was sufficient evidence to sustain the charges.

Four other church members, including the victims’ 33-year-old sister, Sarah Ferguson, have been charged with assault. Their hearings will be held later. All six defendants have pleaded not guilty.

Church deacon Daniel Irwin testified at the hearing that he saw Lucas bleeding and in apparent agony. “Lucas was rolling himself back and forth on the floor and making a sustained, monotone moaning,” he said.

He said he received a text message after services ended at 8pm on Sunday saying the Leonard family would be part of a counseling session with the church’s pastor, Tiffanie Irwin, his sister. Irwin said he was not told what the session was about and didn’t participate.

Watching through a window at around 10pm, Irwin said, he saw Bruce Leonard hit Lucas up to six times with what appeared to be a belt and hit Christopher. The young men winced, Irwin said, but Lucas did not try to defend himself.

Their mother hit Lucas with a cord out of anger over “things that he had said”, investigator Todd Grant testified. He said he had not asked her what those things were. A neighbor, James Constantine, said Lucas had talked about moving on and had mentioned that he might join the army. Another investigator, Jason Nellis, said the mother told police the group took turns hitting Lucas and holding him down.

Irwin said that around 10am on Monday panicked church members ran up to him and said they thought Lucas was dead. Irwin said he dashed into the church to find Lucas lying motionless on the floor, and Lucas’s father and brother and Irwin’s mother, church spiritual leader Traci Irwin, trying to resuscitate him. Lucas was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead.

The defendants include Daniel Irwin’s brother, Joseph Irwin. Asked after the hearing whether Daniel Irwin or any additional relatives could face charges, the Oneida County district attorney Scott McNamara said prosecutors “are looking at everybody that’s involved”. He later said he anticipated more people could be charged. Traci and Tiffanie Irwin have not been charged and have not commented.

Bruce Leonard’s attorney argued during the hearing that prosecutors had not proved the couple intended serious injuries to their son. Deborah Leonard’s lawyer said the mother felt helpless to stop an “intervention” that she had not expected to become so harsh.

The roughly 30-year-old Word of Life church once had perhaps 40 or more members but now counts closer to 20, authorities said.

There are thousands of small, independent Christian churches around the US, many of them following a very strict fundamentalist theology, said David Bromley, a religion professor at Virginia Commonwealth University. Their beliefs can lead to strong resistance when a member wishes to leave, he said.

“If you get into a very conservative group where there is only one way and God’s wrath is about to be unleashed on humanity and we’re the faithful remnant, then leaving the group is a very serious condition, from the point of view of members,” Bromley said.           ………………’

Things May Not Be The Way It Seems


Do not judge others

Madamsabi's Blog

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call as soon as possible, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled:”Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

image

The doctor smiled and said: “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came as fast as I could after receiving the call……And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily. The doctor smiled again and…

View original post 186 more words

Bride Lost Her Dad Weeks Before The Wedding. So When Her Brother Does THIS, I’m Speechless.


Original post from Inspire More

‘………..By Randall Neely

There are no words to describe the emotion flooding throughout every moment of this video. It’s so filled with love and heartache that all one can do is simply join in with the tears.

The bride, Andrea, lost her father to pancreatic cancer just months before her wedding day. So, her brother decided that he would try to bring the spirit of his dad as much as he could to this special day. For the Father-Daughter dance, he played a recording of himself singing “Butterfly Kisses,” a song very close to Andrea’s heart.

Every man in Andrea’s family came up to dance with her – starting with her grandfather, followed by her brothers and ending with her new father-in-law.

You can see the pain from the loss of her father, but the happiness of remembering him also shines.

Share this incredible love story TODAY.

………………’

Calling ADHD Dads: How to Have a Calm, Loving Relationship with Your ADHD Child


Original post from Additude Mag

‘………..You can learn to give your child the love, encouragement, and approval he or she longs for.

Terry M. Dickson, M.D., ACG, CPCC, this month’s guest blogger, is the founder and director of The Behavioral Medicine Clinic of NW Michigan (youradhdfamily.com), which has served and supported children, adolescents, and adults with ADHD for the past 15 years. His passion is working with families affected by ADHD and the condition’s impact on family relationships.

'Be committed to helping your child succeed no matter what it takes.' —Terry M. Dickson, M.D., ACG, CPCC
‘Be committed to helping your child succeed no matter what it takes.’
—Terry M. Dickson, M.D., ACG, CPCC

Being a father is a huge responsibility and often needs to be mastered. This can be challenging for dads with ADHD, who by the nature of the complexities of his symptoms, may find it difficult to give the kind of love, encouragement, and approval his children long for. There are certain traits common to men with ADHD that can interfere with the father-child relationship for years, especially when those fathers are parenting children who also have ADHD.

As a youngster, I didn’t know that I had ADHD. Being hyperactive and impulsive, I must have been a handful for my parents. I had poor self-esteem and that affected almost every aspect of my life at the time. So I immersed myself in school and success, for me, became getting good grades. I struggled as many people with ADHD do, but my determination kept me moving forward.

When I had kids of my own, my desire for them was to achieve the things I wasn’t able to achieve. Both of our children have been diagnosed with ADHD and, of course, struggled in school as I did. Unfortunately, in my ADHD-charged moments of frustration, I got angry at them when assignments were not turned in and grades were not up to par. These emotions caused my children to shut down when the topic of school came up. I had no idea that I was negatively affecting the relationship.

Perhaps you are a father with ADHD who has experienced conflict in your relationship with your child. However stressful that relationship may have been, believe that it is never too late to change yourself and affect positive change.

The first step in improving your parenting skills is to make sure you are receiving adequate treatment for your ADHD. You can’t help your child if you don’t first help yourself. You need to get the right diagnosis from a practitioner who is knowledgeable about ADHD and its treatments. You may benefit from medication. If you have problems with anger management, substance abuse, or compulsive behaviors, a trained therapist or counselor skilled in these areas could help. Working with an ADHD coach can be extremely helpful. Other sources of support can come from a local CHADD chapter, Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), a men’s support group, as well as from parenting classes, books and pamphlets.

There are several important truths that you must keep in mind when developing a new fathering style. Know that you are significant and can make a difference in your child’s life. There is power to your presence in your child’s life and a real void in your absence. Know that your child needs your love, approval, encouragement, acceptance and affirmation. Commit yourself to replacing bad habits with better ones. Be committed to helping your child succeed no matter what it takes.

These are ways to show your child that you appreciate and love him:

Show your child unconditional love. Love your children not because of what they do but because of who they are. A solid trust between the two of you will remind your child that he or she can talk to you about anything. Your child needs to know that he or she can always depend on you.

Never shame or make fun of your child. Don’t try to talk something out if you feel emotionally charged or out of control; wait until you feel calm enough to address the issues objectively. Know what pushes your buttons and take steps to ward off overreaction. Be a model for resolving conflicts peacefully. A good listener talks less and asks more questions, especially open-ended ones that do not require yes or no answers, and foster better communication. Establish good eye contact and do not interrupt.

Express the high value you place on your child. Use every opportunity to give praise or to share something inspirational with your child. Provide hugs and words of encouragement when appropriate. Make sure that your positive comments about your child greatly outnumber those that are negative and that the negative ones are given in a constructive manner, without belittling your child.

Schedule meaningful time with your child. Children, in a sense, spell love T-I-M-E. Make sure that the time you spend with your child is free from distractions that would prevent you from focusing completely on him or her. When you promise to spend time with your child, make certain that you keep that commitment so that he or she knows that you can be depended on. This will build trust between you and your child as well. Communicate to your child that you will always try to be available during unscheduled times as well.

Teach your child self-help skills. What skills did you use to overcome your own difficulties caused by ADHD tendencies? It is important to teach him or her to think independently, ask questions, and seek creative solutions. Help your child find his own answers. Be a good listener and slower with advice.

Set realistic goals for yourself and your child. Your goals could include being a better listener, paying more attention to your child’s unique style and talents, or striving to empower your child to be more resilient. Goals for your child could include developing more confidence or helping others in need. Monitor the progress of your goals at monthly and yearly intervals. Progress for your child could be measured by his or her ability to solve problems independently and assume more responsibility.

Dads with ADHD certainly can have challenges in parenting due to ADHD traits. However, it is never too late to build loving relationships with your children. The personal skills you will need to heal broken relationships can be mastered. Remember the important role you play in your child’s life and go make a difference today.

She Never Saw The Cake by Joseph Walker


Such a good message for all to consider.

Madamsabi's Blog

Cindy glanced nervously at the clock on the kitchen wall. Five minutes before midnight.

image

“They should be home any time now,” she thought as she put the finishing touches on the chocolate cake she was frosting. It was the first time in her 12 years she had tried to make a cake from scratch, and to be honest, it wasn’t exactly an aesthetic triumph. The cake was . . . well, lumpy. And the frosting was bitter, as if she had run out of sugar or something.

Which, of course, she had.

And then there was the way the kitchen looked. Imagine a huge blender filled with all the ingredients for chocolate cake  including the requisite bowls, pans and utensils. Now imagine that the blender is turned on. High speed. With the lid off.

Do you get the idea?

But Cindy wasn’t thinking about the mess. She had created something…

View original post 553 more words

A Grieving Mother’s Kindness Helps Other Parents In a Heartbreakingly Beautiful Way


Kindness Blog

While the birth of a child is a joyous occasion for most, some parents’ experiences are shadowed with deep sorrow. When babies are born with terminal illnesses, the parents may only have days, sometimes hours, to spend time with their child. The heartbreak is unimaginable, leaving a void that can never be filled, not even with memories.

To help ease the pain of these families, and to help them heal, one organization is creating memories of the children’s short lives to celebrate their legacies.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep connects volunteer photographers with the parents of terminally ill babies.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

The photographers, each of whom have been trained to handle the delicate circumstances professionally, capture the families’ last times together in poignant and beautiful images.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Now I Lay Me Down To SleepLogan Bostrom with his parents (top) and father (above).

The photography services are completely free for the families. The organization believes that having the…

View original post 322 more words

In Your Heart by Thomas S. Carver


Madamsabi's Blog

He was so proud of his little girl
It was her very first day of school
He walked with her to school that day
And she held his hand all the way
They walked together quiet and sad
A little girl and her loving dad
Into the school her father led
But he almost cried when she said
Daddy, Daddy please don’t go
Don’t leave me here all alone
I’ll miss you if you go away
And I might need you, can’t you stay
Little Daughter please don’t cry
You’ll be okay so dry your eyes
You have our memories in your heart
We’re together though we’re apart

image

He sat up front on her wedding day
And cried as his daughter walked away
Later that night he watched her dance
He sat there waiting for his chance
The band started to play their song
Father and daughter danced along
She…

View original post 182 more words