The Old Man On A Bench

Madamsabi's Blog

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying.   A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.  “Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. 

Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing.   In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again.   At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves.” 

The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t be crying!   You should be the happiest man in the world!”  So the old man says, “I know!   I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”

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I Ain’t Afraid

Another funny

Madamsabi's Blog

One Sunday morning, everyone in a bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

Satan asked, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and…

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Falling down

Funny

Madamsabi's Blog

There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,”If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing…

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Groundhog Day

Madamsabi's Blog

“I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door.

The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: “Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?” With that,he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.

The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation. His wife was indeed surprised: “First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed…

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The Atheist Professor & God

Madamsabi's Blog

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there was no God.

He said, “God if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 minutes!” Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, “Here I am God, I’m still waiting.”

He got down to the last couple of minutes as a big 240-pound Christian Marine happened to walk by the door on his way to a school recruiting meeting. He stopped and listened to what the professor said.

The Marine walked into the classroom and in the last minute, hit the professor full force, sending him flying off the platform.

The professor got up, obviously shaken, and said, “Where did you come from, and why did you do that?”

The Marine replied, “God was busy; He sent me!”

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